I thank God for this mess, for the peas on the floor...

It was late.  2 hours of putting my 3 year old to bed.  Past 8 pm and having been at work that morning at 6 am, working, then coming up to tend to the kids for the rest of the day.  I was tired.  Worn out.  Ready to throw in the towel and rest.  Wait! I'm a mom.  I cannot clock out as soon as my children do, I now have a house to tend to.  I look around - survey the damage - hold back the tears - take a deep breath.  Dishes (at least 2 loads to be washed... by hand), 4 loads of laundry to fold and 2 to rotate through the washer and dryer, floor that needs swept/mopped, bathroom to pick up after the bedtime hurricane, dinner to put away.  Yep, I had a lot to do.

Dishes - Thank you Lord for giving us dishes to wash, dishes that we can eat off of.  Dishes that I can serve my children from.  Food that dirtied these dishes.  Clean water that filled these cups.  So many dishes - thank you for the 2 days of food that filled our bellies and for the reminder that we have not gone without.

Laundry - Thank you Lord for the HEAP of laundry on my couch that I have the ability to sit on (though, most of the time, my laundry puts it to good use... and I let it...).  Thank you for my children who are growing and needing new clothes.  Thank you for the small stains on some of my favorite clothes that did not come out, despite soaking them in whatever  spray I have in there, for they are reminders of the fun we had while making cookies, or the awesome birthday party we had just the week before.  Thank you Lord for a washer and dryer that work and allow me to give my children clean clothes with minimum work each and every day.

Floor - Thank you Lord for giving my precious baby girl hands to throw her food on the floor and a mouth that can get 20% of the food in her mouth.  Thank you for the extra food that could land on the floor, while my kiddos still got plenty to eat.  Thank you for the milk that splattered all over the floor - what seemed to have gotten in EVERY area of the kitchen, dining room, and hallway - my kids have milk to drink, thank you.  Thank you for the yogurt that filled in the gaps where the milk failed to reach - it's a staple food item here and one that we have never had to go without.

Bathroom - Thank you Lord for the pee-soaked floor around the toilet, for it shows me that my son is growing up and able to pee on his own... albeit, I think I may need to supervise I bit more.  Thank you for the wet towels, wet floor, and wet me.  My kids had a warm bath and tons of fun playing together in a bathtub.

For those nights when I need to take a VERY deep breath before surveying the damage of the day.  For the nights when I fight with all I have to not break down a cry of exhaustion when I see that so much still needs to be done.  It helps to see how much I truly have in life.  It helps put things into perspective and to see that silver-lining, no matter how small it may be on that particular day.  Whether you believe it God or not, I give all my thanks to my God, you can still be thankful for the amazing life you have and the wonderful blessings you have.  I am blessed.  It doesn't make all my days easier.  It doesn't make me any less tired or want any less help or need any less encouragement.  But it does get me through some of those harder days.  Thank you Lord, for Your gentle reminders.

Cy is 3!!!

Yes, I did just post about Lulu turning 1.  And now it's Cy's turn.  WHAT was I THINKING when getting pregnant around the same time with both kids?! It has been a crazy crazy month with both of their birthdays back to back.  I am seriously rethinking a lot of things for next year because 3 parties in 2 weeks just doesn't work all that well.

My big boy is 3!  3 comes with a lot of attitude already, I can tell.
He is the most fun-loving, rambunctious, hard-headed, stubborn, sweet, sensitive boy! I love my sweet Cy to pieces and with each day, I am more and more excited of what he can do! I love having a 3 year old - it's so fun to run around with him, to teach him things, listen to him count to 15, sing songs, read books, and watch him play by himself and have an imagination.

Happy birthday big boy! You are the light of my life and I love you more than you will ever ever know.  If you want to simmer down and listen a bit more this coming year - I would LOVE that ;-) If not, be who you are! Mommy and Daddy love you for who YOU are and we are so excited to see all that God has in store of you and that passion of yours!

Lulu is 1!!!!

Sweet Lulu Bear turned 1 just a few days ago.  WOW! I cannot believe she is already one.  It seemed like yesterday, I was rushing into the hospital to have her just a short 6 or 7 hours later.  She sure has taught me soooo much! I thought I would give a running list of things my 2nd child has taught me over the course of a year:

1. You tend to baby the 2nd one a bit more, I don't know if it's because she's a girl (probably) or because this time around, I really cherish the time a lot more.  I also thank sweet baby Jayden for teaching me this.  Not a day goes by that I do not look at his picture on my fridge and thank him for teaching me the importance of appreciation.

2. The little things do NOT matter as much as they did the first time.  At Cy's birthday party - I had to be the one to hold him, show him everything, be with him.  Lulu's birthday party - yep, everyone else had her.  It's a different world with 2.  I don't have time to hold her all the time (though, I'm sure many would say I hold her too much... I beg to differ - I wish I could hold her MORE).  I remember obsessing about nap times with Cy.  OMG, it's time to go from 2 naps to 1 nap.  My mom: "Sariah, it's FINE, Cy will get it - you don't have to time his naps"... um, YES I DO, He might DIE if I don't" ;-) Now: Oh, she wants 2 naps... ok... thank goodness for the break.  HA! See? Little things like writing down each time I nursed, counting how many dirty diapers the baby had in 24 hours, watching to make sure EVERY single food group was fed to them each day, covering the floors with blankets so they wouldn't get cold while crawling... yep, they just don't matter as much as they did with my first.

3. The little things annoy me SO much more than they did the first time.  :-) Splashing in the tub.  I would let Cy splash to his little heart's desire.  Now that there's 2... um, you get a splashing war going and it's done.  Your bathroom will be spotless and you will not need a shower at the end of the day.  Eating with your fingers - so cute.  Until you have 2 and they mimic each other.  Oh dear - no!!! 4 hands to clean is just too much.

4. Every single child is different and unique.  Lulu has taught me that above all else. This year has probably been the hardest year of my life so far.  With reflux, sensitive sleeper, fussy all the time, and very needy - she's given me a run for my money.  It's been hard but it's taught me that what worked with Cy - does not work with her.  Great, now I have TWO kids to figure out.  Seriously - WHERE are those owner manuals for each kid????? Anyone writing one for my kids yet? I'll pay you serious cash if so!

5. Sleep is overrated and will never come again.  With Lulu still up every 3-4 hours (now it's teething - yikes) - I have come to terms with the fact that I will never again get a straight 5 hours of sleep a night... let alone 8 hours.

6. Through it all, your love for your child grows with each day that passes.  Milestones are still so important.  The term "my heart is melting" never made more sense than it did as I stood above my children, watching them kiss each other.  WOW.  The love, the affection.  Each day - it grows.  I love my sweet baby girl!

This journey that I am on as a mother.  It's soooo hard.  It's exhausting.  There is a lack of appreciation, a lack of sleep, a lack of acknowledgement.  But there is an abundance of love, overflowing sense of pride, and bubbling over joy that comes from my children.  I am learning more and more every day.  While that scares me, because I'm becoming my mom (YIKES!) and never thought I'd "understand" moms because they were all so psycho and crazy and had annoying, loud, dirty kids.... I do.  I get it now and I am so thankful that I do.  :-) **For those youngsters reading this, I know what you are thinking... and I can't wait to hear from you in 15 years to tell me that I, just as my mother is now, was RIGHT!

Lulu, I love you sweet angel.  You are amazing and wonderful and your personality just gets me every time! Happy 1st birthday sweet baby!