I am stealing this quote from my friend :-) Yesterday while at the mall - there was this strange looking man running around with his daughter. Not strange as in "scary, get my kid away from this place" - but strange as in appearance... not your average Joe. And before you go getting all "oh my gosh, you were judging him" - you do it too! Some people just look .... strange, out of place, weird, off their rocker (you get the point!). Well, there was this strange Joe and a Average Joe, both their with their kids. While the average Joe just sat there, on his phone, doing NOTHING - Strange Joe was running around, playing, singing, having a BLAST with his daughter. Actually, Cy found himself drawn to the man, as I found myself drawn to watching him. He was so full of life, so funny, he had a trail of kids following him EVERYWHERE and he kept coming up with this great little games for them to all play together. I actually found myself finding a seat and just watching them (nice for me because after an hour of chasing Cy around with a 14 pound monster in my moby - my back needed the rest!!).
Ok ok - I'll get to the point of this whole "story" :-) I have been thinking a lot lately about the role of a parent. There are a few "parents" in my social reach that have made some very sad and disheartening decisions in the last few months. Some have left their children (divorce, abandonment, other "women" to start new families with), some haven't left but might as well have - not hands-on or attentive (like the Average Joe at the play area), some have older kids and don't help anymore (even though, it can clearly be seen that help is needed). I was talking to DH the other day, and we had a very serious talk about the roles of parents. His father left when he was very young, so when we talk about being a parent - it sparks a deep passion in him. A passion to be a good dad, to give his kids everything - something he never had the option to get, and to LOVE his kids more than anything in the world. *Yes, I am a very lucky woman - I have a husband, who through all his history and hard times, has come out being stronger and more determined to have a family, to provide for his family, and to show his kids LOVE at ALL times - that's huge!!!
Anyway, we were talking about how money doesn't matter in parenting. Yes, you can have money and that really does help kids to have an "easier" life, better schools, better clothes, ect. But money is not all that there is to parenting! Average Joe was very well off (you could tell with their clothes and phones and such) but he was soooo annoyed with his kids the entire time. Strange Joe was more on the "needy" side of the spectrum. Clothes not so nice, long hair (but clean!), ect. But this Strange Joe was giving his kids sooooo much more! He was giving them attention, adventure, love, respect, kindness. I could go forever!
What kids really need are parents who are active in their lives. Parents who give those annoying pieces of advice when they are teenagers and don't want to hear another word from their "rents" ;-) Parents who make them work for what they have - not just hand them a silver platter to eat from. Parents to teach VALUES, give financial advice, give HUGS AND KISSES. Parents who raise their children to be mentally and spiritually STRONG. That is the role of a parent. Money helps, money makes life easier. BUT money is not all that there is in life! I guarantee you, that if I teach Cy and Lu from the beginning to be SMART with what little they have, to work hard for what they WANT, and to never give up - they will be able to graduate top of their class as a doctor, same as the rich kid next to them! Money isn't everything. But Mental, Spiritual, and Physical development is!
And what is better - my husband, who had so little in a father-figure, is teaching my kids something so BIG!!! He is teaching Cy how to be a father. How to love, how to support his family, how to stick it out in the hard-times (even after 20+ years of marriage), how to have ADVENTURE, how to work HARD. And Cy will teach his son that too! He is teaching Lu what to look for in a husband - yes, that's right, she is learning too! She won't settle for a lazy bum who just sits there and makes her do everything or beats her. She is going to look for a strong, determined, loving, adventurous guy... who loves the zoo as much as she does ;-)
See? Parents - you are not only teaching your kids... you are teaching THEIR kids. You are building a legacy. You are starting a TREND for generations to come! Even when you are old - you are still building that legacy with your grandchildren. Are you going to be hands-on, loving, determined, kind, caring, give amazing advice (care enough to give advice), give HUGS and KISSES, give those much needed pats on the back,"that a boy", "get back up and try it again!"????
Train up a Child in the way he should go & when he is old - he will NOT depart from it! Proverbs 22:6
So what this STRANGE JOE showed me, on top of the quote I stole, and the convo with my husband - is that PARENTING is soooo much more than is wealthy. I can give my children the BEST life EVER by being there for them - mentally, spiritually, and physically. You can too.
