In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms

I am reading a book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger - "In Praise of Stay-at-Home moms" - I picked up this book at the library today because with the new baby coming, I am having feelings as I did when Cy was coming. The absolute, horribly STRONG longing to return back to work. Even with a nanny, we'd still come home with some money and the success and praise and connections with adults I would make at work seem soooo worth it!

It is sometimes the absolute HARDEST thing for me to be a SAHM. I've been in corporate world - I have seen the "raises" and "good jobs" and appreciation all around from a job "well done". As a stay-at-home mom, those are very very far and few between. There is no raise at the end of each year. No "bonus" for doing a great job. There are no "promotions" - all of which I long for. I strive for. I am a go-getter. I like being better than EVERYONE and succeeding! I worked at Express for 3 months and was offered a management position when Cy was 6 months old - WHY? Because I kick butt! ;-) I went into work and was determined to be the best - to stand out - to be amazing! You don't get to stand out as a SAHM. Well, not in the same ways. You don't get the same monetary rewards.

Please notice - MONETARY. I don't get cash raises or bonus at Christmas. But I do get the smiles and happiness of my children. Just to make it clear to all that I do understand what I am getting out of being a SAHM. While I notice that, I still have the strong urge and longing to be in corporate America, taking names and kicking butt ;-)

It's a very very demanding job to stay at home. Oh wait! Did I just say J.O.B??!?!! For staying HOME?! I must have been kidding myself, right? For most think staying at home is "easy"... because seriously: "What do you do all day?" when you are home, right? :-) I bet many SAHM's get that question many times a year. What makes SAHM even harder for me is the lack of RESPECT and APPRECIATION that comes from Staying at home. I recently went to my sister's amazing reward thing at school. I am educated, graduated 6 months pregnant WITH honors, while working 40+ hours a week and taking a full load - paying for EVERY THING myself - but while standing there, in the midst of business men and women - I would say "Oh I stay at home with my son", you could SEE, you could FEEL the "ooohhhh, you stay home... right... OKAY!" I stay home so I am not worth being spoken to with intelligence. I stay home so I have NO idea about business, selling, numbers, management, residual income (wow! Did I just use a business term?! But I"m a SAHM!).

It's hard! It really is! Because I hold myself to much higher esteem. I know I'm well educated and I know that going into any job, I would be promoted and successful at a drop of a dime.... but others don't. Others contribute staying home to "lazy", "boring", or "non-demanding". It's hard to face business people who feel this way and still how them that I AM WORTH SOMETHING.

I am not writing this to get a : "OH sariah - You are a wonderful mom" or "Cyrus is sooooo lucky you stay home" or "we appreciate you". Nothing like that. I am writing this as a preface to my thoughts for the next few days as I read this book. As I find myself - as a SAHM who is secure and happy in her decision and her SACRIFICES! I give up money - sorry, can't go to the movies with you this weekend, I don't have extra income. I give up freedom - Sorry, I can't do lunch with you today, I have a kid and no sitter. I give up last-minute-plans - sorry, tomorrow is too short notice, I have a kid and cannot find a sitter. I give up a TON. Most of which people judge me for. "Oh - you can't go to a freaking movie?! It costs like NOTHING" .... well to be honest - I COULD go to a movie if I decided to work and leave my kid with strangers BUT I decided instead, to stay home, love on him, see all his ups and downs, and pinch pennies :-) Thank you :-)

So more to come! It's an awesome book and I'm excited to share it with everyone. The pros.... and cons to staying home. That staying home isn't all rainbows and flowers. Staying home is hard and takes a TON of sacrifice from mommy... as well as daddy ;-) We'll get to that :-)