The SAHM's Inner Stuggles

Well, it's funny - I just finished chapter 2 of my book, "The praise of a stay-at-home mom" and it is pretty much everything I touched up on yesterday. Talk about Dr. Laura hitting it right on the head!

I must say that I understand completely and totally that some moms MUST work - single moms, income providing moms! I have never been one to turn my nose up to a working mom - it is your decision. While at U of H, there was a study done that said moms are happier when they do what they want to do. If they want to stay at home, they are happier there. If they want to work, they are happier there. And that sometimes the kids will benefit more from a happy mom, than a mom that holds grudges. Now at that, I do think that staying home is most important for a child's development and if it is AT ALL possible to do so, then it's the best thing. But again, I understand and KNOW so amazing moms who CANNOT stay home and they are doing the absolute BEST thing for their child/ren too!

Anyway, Dr. Laura brought up a point that was in my heart for a while - I hear working moms complain, say how hard it is to juggle kids and career, how sad they are to miss things, and how LUCKY I am to stay home. How easy it would be to stay home. Honestly - I am very blessed to stay home. BUT - do know, I gave up a TON to stay home! Extra income, pointless shopping for things not needed but WANTED, vacations with the hubby, lunch time and coffee breaks, adult conversations at the desk, and much more. I did NOT just have staying-at-home fall into my lap! I had to cut out a TON of things, budget a lot more, and sacrifice an old life for this new life. So don't ever assume that SAHM have it "easier" just because we don't have to run out the door every morning - we run around the 4 walls of our house instead all day. It just gets to me when I hear how hard it is to be a working mom, when it is just as hard, I GUARANTEE it - to be a stay at home mom. It's just a different difficulty and there are different rewards.

I love one thing Dr. Laura said: when being a working mom, "you are visible in the world". WOW! It's so true! As a SAHM, my "work responsibilities" are within the walls of my house, where I am usually alone with kids for the majority of the day AND most projects that I focus on - never ever get done. Changing diapers, cleaning bathrooms. They are repetitive tasks that a working mom has other people do, that I do 24/7 and often without thanks and being unnoticed.

Through this chapter - it made me see that I am not alone in these feelings - that many SAHM feel lonely, underappreciated, and unseen. But there are soo many other positive, amazing rewards to those feelings. So many more milestones that I get to see - despite smelling from not showering all day, despite my puffy eyes from not sleeping well, despite my completely exhaustion from spending 4+ hours in the sun chasing a toddler - and then spending nap time doing laundry and bathrooms and preparing baby food. It's amazing. Hard. But amazing. And I only write through my journey to show that being a SAHM is totally worth the sacrifices - but that also it's HARD! It might seem easy to those who have different lives - but it is hard. Mentally, physically, emotionally - hard. Thank my LORD for those times that Cy chooses ME to hug, or call mama, or to climb on my lap to read him a book - shows me that He knows who is mama is and that I am there for him 24/7, 100% of the way - literally 100% of the time :-) And he can tell. That's all that matters at the end of a hard, tiring day :-)