5 love languages

Today at MOPS, we talked about the 5 Love Languages.  I have already heard about them and done them with Ash... though (don't tell him) I forget what his are (... ok, ok, no I don't really USE them... I blame the 2 kids, lack of sleep, and crazy holiday hours... for now... until another excuse comes up).  Anyway, I snagged a few tests so I can be reminded of what his are again... but the speaker said something that really struck me! These can also be used on your children! Cy has been going through a very very very very very (enough "very" in there yet? no, I don't think so...) very very defiant stage right now and I have found myself yelling more and more each day.  While patience is something I am working on :-D It's hard when you are going on so little sleep.  But this hit home and made me want to show Cy the 5 love languages each and every day.  I want to see what kind of change I see in him, if I just show him love.  And hopefully through this, I can find out which ones are on the top of his "needs" and focus more on those. 

1. Words of Affirmation (Encouragement, compliment the character)
    *I did this tonight - thanked him for being a big brother and he was sooo sweet to Lulu for the next 2 seconds haha so perhaps doing this more would help
2. Physical Touch (Hugs, Holding hands, cuddling)  
3. Acts of Service (Helping him...Now, I really don't think this is for me to say "Well, I made his dinner and presented him is meal - I am serving.  I think of this as what HE wants help with.  Talking to Pooh Bear or going out of my way to build a super awesome train rail)
4. Quality Time (An emotional connection... don't be doing something else.  Give them 100% of your attention for even a few minutes) A friend of mine said that kids need 20 minutes of undivided attention a day from us.  I am aiming for that.  To put the phone down, Lulu in bed, and giving him 20 minutes.  I am also going to give Lulu the same amount of attention
5. Receiving Gifts (Ya... they get enough from us... I'm gonna be ignoring this one - ha!)

I will be focusing on giving Cy each of these every day and praying for God's blessings on my efforts with my son.  I feel like I am treading water here and would love to see some positive change in Cy soon.  I encourage you to try as well to fulfill the childrens' Love Needs... oh, and if you want - feel free to put it in practice in your marriage or relationships too ;-)

My cup runneth over

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

It's funny - one thing I was never prepared for was the honest, truthful look at myself after having kids.  Let me explain -
Cy is copying everything and anything I do.  Good and Bad.  Pretty and Ugly.  It's CRAZY! And while some things make me gasp that he actually caught my bad habit (Like my road rage) - others are more subtle and more hurtful.  It's like I have a mirror around me 24/7 - showing me how I am and constantly reminding me that I need to change for him. 

A few funny things he has said... that I *might* do ;-)

*A car cut me off the other night and he threw his hands up and yelled "Ugh, that man! That man in car pisses me off" ... yep.  NOT good.  Not good at all.  Needless to say, my road rage has been cut in half since then.  Now I just slap my leg and keep going haha. 

*We got in the car the other day and daddy has a hard time remembering his seat belt.  From the back we hear: "Seat belt babe" ;-) I often say that before we leave...

*Today Cy wanted something and I had told him no.  He started walking around going "Ugh! UUUGGGHHH!" and slapping his leg.  Another thing I need to REALLY work on, showing my frustration less.

*Cy will ask people to "Pray to Jesus" since we pray each night and now when we talk about a birthday coming up, he always says "Is Jesus' birthday?" - LOVE it!!

I love that he can talk so much more.  It is very entertaining.  It is also a lot more patience-working.  It's hard when he has such a strong temper and says things.  But I wouldn't have it any other way.  He is my eyes into my soul.  He sees me as never doing wrong... and I need to work to meet that standard of what I want to be for him.  Everything we do, say, or show - they see.  They copy.  They notice.  They feel.  I am exhausted but I need to work on being more calm, loving, kind, and using less "pisses me off" in the car ;-)

For I want, one day, for someone to ask my little Mirror who the fairest one of all is and for him to say: "My mommy.  She has always had such a sweet, loving heart".