Terrible 2's and Patience

I am beat tonight. I am exhausted, I have cried as much as I care to. I am emotional and in pain from Thumper. It's just been a bad day for the most part. Bad but good. Had a great time at the pool, Cy finally took a nap today (first real nap in 3 days), and I won a few battles with him during the day (biggest accomplishment right there!)

As I look on my role as a mother, I find that I was not prepared or warned about this. Or maybe I was, and I never listened ;-) But seriously - this has got to be the hardest "job" I have ever had to do. Staying home with a very stubborn, fussy, defiant 21 month old - 7 days a week, 24 hours day - that'll do anyone in! And while everyone has the "answer", the fact of the matter is - NO ONE DOES! We all have suggestions and ideas, but no one has "the answer" - no one but God. So why do I always bang my brain trying to figure out how to deal with this "terrible 2, coming early" stage of Cyrus'? I need to start praying more. Asking for more patience, understanding, and love.

So tonight I was looking up scriptures and just begging for encouragement. I am run down as far as I can be tonight. You try taking a 21 month old into Target, only to have him scream the entire 45 minutes. NO I did not give him anything he was screaming for - I was standing firm... hence the screaming. Oh dear! See? Told you he was stubborn! ;-)

Anyway, I love this scripture:
...but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5

I would lable my growing pains with Cy as sufferings ;-) They are... it's been a hard week. But through suffering, I gain perseverance. Through perseverance, character - who doesn't long for a stronger character?! And my favorite - through character - HOPE. I have hope. I love that!

Parenting is NOT easy! And many times I find that moms are afraid to talk about their struggles - didn't you get the memo? Mom's can't be weak or feel like "failures" - we are strong, unwavering, and indistructable! HA!!!! Well you might be (wink wink) - but I'm not! I'm human. I call it as it is. This is hard! Parenting is hard. But I love being a mom!! I super-dee-duper do! ;-) Even the hard times - I love it. because for a brief moment in between the hard times, there is that ray of sunshine from your child: a hug, a kiss, a new word learned, bed time (ha!).

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other” - Walter Elliot

So moms out there - who are sitting in bed crying like I find myself on occasion. You are not alone! Being a mom is NOT easy, and never will be. But it's worth it and it's just short races one after the other - so inbetween those races - enjoy the kid :-) Love the kid, and grow that little extra bit of patience for when the next "race" starts :-)

Everyone Loves Raymond

I've been watching Everyone Loves Raymond in the evenings, after Cy goes down. Just for the last couple nights - but something really stood out to me. The portrayal of marriage on that show shocks me! Let me explain:

1. Debra: She is constantly putting Ray down, she screams at him in front of people, she disrespects his friends, family, and him. She is always making him feel less than he is, worthless, and someone who doesn't help. NOW NOW before some of y'all say :Well, Sariah you kinda do some of these things. I think we all fall short of being a perfect wife. I am not saying we don't. I definately do! What can I work on? My respect towards Ash, my appreciation and submission. Debra just takes it above and beyond - I am shocked with how many times in this season alone, she has yelled so loud that her face has turned visibly red. Wow - not a wife I'd ever want!

2. Raymond: He is constantly complaining, he picks his friends and golf over camping with the family or spending time with his wife. He does not stand up for his wife to his parents - and lets them walk all over her. He is not intuned with her needs and wants - never showing affection & appreciation like she so desperatly needs (according to what she portrays on the show).

I just sat here tonight thinking: Why do I watch this show? Sure, some parts are funny. Some parts are JUST like my life and what Ash and I go through. But most parts are degrading to both genders and teach people, indirectly, that treating a spouse like that is "ok". The Bible says for wives to be submissive to their husbands - I'm not saying let them walk all over us - if you think that's what submission is, please look up the definition and educate yourself. God also calls for the husbands to LOVE the wife as he loves HIMSELF. WOW! That's a big one! If we have a need, we meet that need. If we are hungry, we eat ASAP. If we are tired, we take a break. So for the husband - they are to love their wife MORE than they do themselves. That's a big task, just like submission is. But how much more wonderful would a marriage be?

Is it hard to follow these guidelines? HECK YEAH! I will be the first to say: I do not submit very well. I am very disrespectful to Ash at times. I love him with all my heart, but I get selfish and lose sight of him and his needs at time. I need to let him lead the household, not myself. Not copy what Debra does and put Raymond down 24/7 or yell at him 24/7.

It's also shocking that this show is called a "family" show. yeah, way to teach our generation growing up what a marriage is supposed to look like (from society's view). I am going to make a more conscious effort to respect and submit to Ash, and to do the opposite of what Debra does :-)

Cash System

The first thing Ash & I learned with Dave Ramsey was about his cash system. You pay CASH for most everything - gas, groceries, clothes, misc, ect. This way you SEE and FEEL how much you are spending and you are more aware of it. It is amazing when I started this! I mean, when you have $20 spending money a week and Starbucks takes $6 of that... yeah, you start re-thinking how important Starbucks coffee really is! When you have $100 a week for groceries (including diapers, wipes, toiletries, ANYTHING for the house) - you start looking for coupons and other ways to save where you can!

Before, I was a debit girl! Everything was debit for me. It was easy, quick, FUN :-) But I never FELT the sting when my money started decreasing the in bank. With this - you feel it! You feel it bad! It's awesome! I spent $82 on groceries this week, and I was so excited, I was able to put the remaining money in my "savings" envelope and am so anxious for next week when I can add MORE to the savings envelope! :-)

You should definately try it! Yes, it's hard, it takes work and getting used to. But you seriously do spend less because seeing the money slip out of your fingers... there's nothing more painful :-)

What is my point is saying all this? Well, I used to drive around town like crazy - going here and there whenever. Well, gas has now murdered us at 3.60 a gallon - OUCH! And I have decreased my gas allowance to put the extra cash to other more important things, like bills :-) So I get $30 a week for gas. yeah.... at $3.60/gallon... $30 gets me LESS than 3/4 a tank! Are you kidding me?! What am I to do with 3/4 a tank of gas for SEVEN days?!

I'll tell you what: cut out all driving, go to the park and library a lot!, see friends who live close by, and make people come to me :-D This cash system has made me start counting mileage - something I never even CARED about and is making me do FREE things around the area :-) I love it!!! Good for the car (less wear on it), good for my $20 spending money (hehe), and good for me to learn a valuable lesson = when the money is gone, it's GONE! There is no credit. There is no charging it, there is no taking it from savings. It's gone!!!!!

More of us should do Dave Ramsey - stop living on credit, stop living beyond our means, and start living like God wants us to! Responsible stewards over what HE has GIVEN us....

Dear Cyrus

It is 4 am in the morning. Your sister is keeping me wide awake (I know, crazy, and she's not even born yet! Sheesh!)
So I thought I'd write you a little note :-) I've never done one of these and since I have a few free minutes - now is a perfect time.

You are now 20 months old - getting so old! In 11 days, you will be 21 months old and only 3 months until your 2nd birthday. Are you kidding me?! Time is going by way to fast! I am loving this stage you are in! Too funny! You are hilarious and always the center of attention. Your personality cracks everyone up - not many have seen a 20 month old with as much personality as you have. I love it!!!

We took you to the doc the other day, you were 34 1/2 inches tall, and 32 pounds (having lost a couple pounds because of illness) - my big boy! Most think it's awesome to be so big and tall - but it has it's down points too. You are stronger than you think, so you hurt your friends when you don't mean to. When you run into them, if affect them more than it does you. This makes me so sad because I know for the rest of your toddler years, I'm gonna have to constantly tell you to "be careful" or "be gentle". Of course this will be great when you start sports and you can be on a basketball team and football team ;-)

You are my little genius! Tonight we were eating M&M's and you looked down, pointed out "yellow", "orange" (two words I already knew you knew) and then "blue" - oh, I almost cried. So smart! Who taught you blue?! And here I thought you weren't listening allllll those times I said "blue" ;-) I'm so excited to see how much more you learn and grow in the next few months.

You are going to be a big brother soon. Mommy is super excited about this, but also very scared. I have enjoyed soooooo much being able to spoil you and love on you and our one-on-one times. It's going to be hard to not give you my undivided attention, but I know in the long run, you are going to grow up with a sweet sister and y'all will be the best of pals! You are going to be a great big brother - I'm sure you will toughen her right up! ;-)

I love you so much and daily have to stop myself from eating you up! ;-) You are the cutest little boy that I've ever seen (of course I may be biased about that). While you are stubborn - keep that trait! It will get you far in life, be stubborn - never settle for less, never give up, always fight for what is right & for those you love! You are also very loving and often give random hugs to your friends (you also love the Barney "I love you" song and will proceed to go around the room and hug everyone during that song) - keep it up! Be loving, be kind, be generous, be giving. Sacrifice for those around you, give to the less fortunate, and appreciate all that you have.

My heart is full of happiness - because of you. I love you to pieces and so much more Cyrus.

I'm back!

I started this blog and have forgotten about it. I want to start blogging again. Mainly for myself - seems like a great place to keep myself accountable as I strive to be a better mother, wife, friend, sister, and daughter. Life has many ups and downs - and it helps to be able to share those with others.

So, accountability. Sheesh - that's a big word. I have always struggled with keeping a clean house, and have really been working hard to be better at that. As well as saving money! Ash and I just finished Dave Ramsey - we are on our way to financial freedom - that is something I'd like to share with others, the struggles but also how satisfying it is to save and to get out of debt. Family - I feel like family is and always should be #1, and often times I feel like myself and others forget that. I want to always strive to be the best family member I can be, while keeping my dignity in check.

The first thought coming to my head today is family. You often hear about how family will be there when no one else is. And i firmly believe that - and always have and always will! I find it sad how petty differences and little fights can cause family members to drift so far apart - hurting not only those involved but kids who are indirectly affected, as well as other family members. Recently I have had a dear friend to me, tell me about some medical problems they have been facing. No one knows.

It makes me think of myself and my family - what if one of us were to be extremely sick or in a bad wreck or lose a baby/family member?? Would we then become family again? Why not be family all the time. Loving, caring, kind, respectful. Why do we hate, bicker, argue, ignore, hurt. But then when tragedy hits - OH! Let's be family again. When a baby comes into the picture - Oh! here's family!
Why not be family 24/7?! Why not be there for each other 24/7? Why not lay aside our differences because we ARE family - because deep down, we do in fact LOVE each other, and because despite everything else - we will always, forever be connected to each other. Nothing else matters. I am preaching as much to myself as others. For before we throw the first stone, we are to look in the mirror and evaluate ourselves.

Just been thinking about that. Now don't go getting your panties in a twist - this isn't coming from 1 thing, or 2 things. This is coming from many of my friends also struggling with family and the consistency and love (or lack of) of their families. I just find it to be extremely sad - and something we could all benefit from: loving each other, respecting each other, putting aside differences for the great good of the family and the unity of the family.


So, accountability. :-) This is gonna be a fun journey! To become the best mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter that I can be! With #2 on the way - I have a lot of stress and pressure building up, and I am anxious to take life by the horns and become better :-) (or at least, the best I can be... for that day ;-) ha) Fake it, til you make it :-)

September 11, 2008 - Smiles and Coo's

Ok well this week has been eventful! Cyrus has started cooing a lot more! Today he was down on the ground and we were looking at pictures of animals and he was cooing and screaming (in a good way) the whole time. So adorable!! He is also smiling a lot! The first person he really gave a real, big smile to was Ashkan, then Papa... I guess he likes the men in this family. He is finally smiling at Mama :-) I'm so proud! He is very big and often hard to carry around for long distances. He is very long, I am very excited for his 2 month check up next week!!!!! I can't wait to see how big he is!

We were trying to buy a house but this week we found out that our 9th offer has been rejected (on the 9th house) so we have decided to stay in an apartment for a year and wait for the market to cool down a bit. It is crazy out there right now and most of the time, houses are staying on the market just for days and getting sold. So they are being sold extremely fast and often to people who are bidding HIGHER than the asking price. So we are going to be in a 2 bedroom apartment, don't ask me how we'll fit... we hardly have room for us as it is! But we'll make it work! To make more room, we are giving away Callie the Jack Russel Terrier. I am very very sad about this but hopefully we can find a perfect home for her so we are all happy.

Ashkan had a huge interview this week for the General Manager position at Staples, we will find out next week if he is ready for a store or not. :-)

Life now with Baby

Haven't been on here for almost 3 months! I'm really bad at keeping this updated it seems. But a lot has happened and will try and re-cap for the time over the last few months. IN July I got hit from behind with a F-250 while 8 months pregnant and started having very high BP because of that. So we induced July 14th and Cyrus Jacob Fouladi was born July 15th at 8:23 pm and weighed 9.01 pounds. He was a big fella. The doctor said that if I was not 3 weeks early, Cyrus would have been over 13 pounds at birth! Crazy big boy, must get it from his daddy! :-)

We took him home and just 6 days old he was put back in the hospital for Jaundice. We stayed there 2 days, one of the hardest times in my life!! He hated being under the light and I had to keep him there, it was hardest at night when all he wanted to be was held. The doctors and nurses were pushing me to stop breastfeeding but I held strong and stuck it out. He is doing better now, though at 7 weeks he still has a little bit of jaundice.

We are staying with my mom while we find a house to purchase which has been a very tough task!! It is a tough market out there and houses are being bought within days! We have had 8 contracts so far and all have not been accepted. We have gone through 2 realtors and are now on our last one hopefully! My mom & step-dad has been amazing in letting us stay here. I'm sure mom loves having baby around though - she's always been a natural with babies!

At 4 weeks old Cyrus was laying on his stomach and rolled over to his back! He wasn't even a month old at that time!!! I was so excited but missed it the 1st time because I had left the room for a few minutes. Little rascal! He is very strong baby! He holds his head up constantly! He is always looking around and at 7 weeks is starting to push with his little foot to turn over from back to stomach. Shouldn't be too long now.

We also weighed him the other night and he came in at 14 1/2 pounds! He wasn't quite 7 weeks old!!! What a big boy! He eats all the time and is constantly moving! He loves to kick his left foot only and keep his right foot still. Papa says he is going to be left handed :-) He has been sleeping ok through the night but tonight he woke up at 3:30 am to eat. I think he is just going through a growth spurt. Hopefully soon that will slow down and we can have a consistent sleeper! He is very stubborn (Have NO idea where he gets that from!!!!) and has been coming into his own. He loves to scream bloody murder if no one is paying attention to him. Daddy gets more upset than mommy when he is crying :-)

I took him swimming for the first time at 4 weeks - it was a lot of fun and he seemed to enjoy it! I'm gonna have a waterbaby for sure!

We love baby Cyrus and couldn't be happier with how healthy and cute he is! He is a handful at times and is NOT an easy baby in the least. He has a very strong temper and loves to scream out if not getting his way. Momma is gonna have to cut him of that. He has been sick lately with constipation and tummy aches so has been crying a LOT during the day and in the evenings. It is wearing on me, but it will get better and I just have to remember that he is not feeling well and is crying for a reason.

He is a little chunkers and we love him! On another note, Ashkan goes to Dallas in a few days to be considered for the General Manager position at Staples! We have been working late into the night each night to get him ready for that! I know he will do wonderfully!! He is very nervous though as he has not really given a presentation before, let alone in front of the Rgional Vice President of the company!!! But, I know he's gonna knock their socks off!!! :-) Wow, that just reminded me of High School and Football, now I want to go make Puppy Chow! haha

Oh, Dad came into town a few weeks back and saw Cyrus. He was 4 weeks old. Dad also said he was a big boy and tried to hold Cyrus every moment he could, even though Cyrus is a freaking heating pad and would make him sweat every time haha :-) We are excited for Jake and Liz to still meet him, that will be wonderful! I'm sure Jake will teach him lots of little teasers so that he can truly become "Cyrus the Virus" haah :-)