Friends

I find myself asking lot of questions lately about friendships. One labeled who their friends are as: one who gives them things (snack, best dinner, invite to party). While that made sense to me a long time ago, I find myself definition of friendship maturing. Changing.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201002/what-makes-true-friend

This was an interesting article that I read. It made me think about what I thought defined my friends ...

1. Being there for each other, through thick and thin. Whether it's easy for us or not.
“A friend is someone who, upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer.”

2. Being a good influence - bringing out the absolute best in each other. I was once told that you become the 5 people you spend time with the most. Surround yourself with people who have your values, beliefs, goals, attitude, whatever is important to you - for you will start to adapt yourself (whether you notice it or not) after them.

3. Choosing the correct time for everything. There is a time to cry, a time to laugh, a time to fight, a time to play, a time to support, a time to critique. There is a time for everything. I believe a true friend will KNOW when those times are and not "force" something hard on one when that person is already going through hard times.

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.” - Gloria Naylor

4. Being there FOREVER - no matter what!! I have many friends from past lives that I will forever and always cherish! I will forever and always think of them as my dear dear friends. They will always have a place in my heart. And some of them, I've had disputes with and arguements with - yet through it all, whenever I see them (every 4-10 years ha) - we love each other, care about each other, and want to help each other.

“A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A friend is someone who is always there and will always, always care. A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart.”

5. Trusting in the best YOU, even when that best isn't always showing. Or in my case, messes up from time to time ;-) With my pregnancy - I had a lot of hormonal craziness and there were many who stuck by me and dealt with it... understanding that it was temporary. Because they trusted the real ME. That even when I make stupid mistakes, I overlook things that might hurt others, say things at the wrong time - a TRUE friend will give me the benefit of a doubt and automatically be able to say: "That is SOOO not like Sariah, she is not that type of person, let's see what's going on".

“A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.” - Donna Roberts

Those are just a few things that I find define friendship for me. It's not what one can GIVE me in monetary ways - but what they can give me emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Being there for me, trusting me, loving me, supporting me, helping me to become the best me I can be.

I have a few other quotes that I just loved so will share them as well :-)

“You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your 'friends.'”

“the best relationships--friendship and otherwise--tend to be those where you *can* say anything to the other person but you don't say *everything*.”
Audrey Beth Stein

“True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.” - Gentry

“Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.”


I still have a long way to go, to be a great, TRUE friend myself. While I am defining "friendship", I am also taking notes for myself. I want to be the friend that I want in others. Like Ghandi said: Be the change you wish to see in the world. And while on this search for a definition... I am humbled at my truest friend - God. While I complain or feel sad at times for people mistreating me - wow! How often do I mistreat God? How often do I forget to "text" Him and don't talk to Him "for days"? How many times have I taken things from Him, without giving anything back? Perhaps the first friendship/relationship I should work on - is that one. Through my work with Him & our relationship, my other relationships will also strengthen and I will be able to be the truest friend possible...